Out of Court Divorce Options in Connecticut

Is an out of court divorce process possible in Connecticut? Yes, and there are two options: the Divorce Mediation Process and Collaborative Divorce.

In Connecticut, an uncontested divorce or legal separation offers a low-cost option for couples. The process for obtaining a legal separation or divorce in Connecticut is generally the same, making both paths accessible.    

There are four options available in Connecticut for obtaining a divorce or legal separation: 

  1. Do-It-Yourself (DIY) – Uncontested or Contested Divorce;
  2. Divorce Mediation – Uncontested Divorce or Amicable Divorce; (Important to note that couples with no conflict, or low to high conflict, successfully complete an uncontested divorce)
  3. Collaborative Divorce – Structured out of court process, led by experienced attorneys, and 
  4. Traditional Divorce or Litigation – A court-based process. 

This article focuses on Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce, the two out of court and low-cost options for Divorce in Connecticut. 

  1. Divorce Mediation. The least expensive option for an out of court divorce or legal separation in Connecticut.  

Benefits of the Divorce Mediation process in Connecticut are:

  • Divorce mediation is one of the most cost-effective ways to get a divorce or legal separation in Connecticut, aside from the do-it-yourself approach. 
  • When spouses choose to participate in mediation, there are no trips to the court. 
  • A divorce mediator, who is also a licensed divorce attorney, addresses every aspect of divorce and the legal separation process. 
  • A divorce mediator works with both spouses from the initial filing of legal documents through the final signing and completion of the divorce. 
  • During mediation, a divorce mediator assists both spouses in preparing financial affidavits and other legal documents, ultimately helping them draft a separation agreement that addresses financial matters (including retirement assets and real estate), child custody, spousal support, and the division of all assets post-divorce.
  • Both spouses in divorce mediation have the ability to establish the timeline, outcome, costs, and key decisions throughout the whole process. 
  • Both spouses remain fully in control of the entire divorce and legal separation process.
  • Divorce mediation offers flexibility for families, and the entire process can be done remotely if needed.
  • All negotiations are private, conducted either in the mediator’s office or virtually. 
  • Both spouses have sufficient time to reach mutual, practical, and workable agreements.
  • Divorce mediation and the collaborative divorce process are the only two options for families seeking to avoid court intervention.
  • If conflicts arise during the mediation process, or if spouses struggle to reach decisions during the process, each spouse has the option to hire independent review counsel for legal advice and support.  

Detriments of the Divorce Mediation process in Connecticut are:

  • A divorce mediator provides legal and financial information to both spouses but does not offer personal, independent legal advice to either spouse. Spouses may hire independent review counsel as needed for individual guidance and advice. 
  • If conflict arises between the mediator and a spouse, the mediator must step away from the entire process and cannot continue to serve as the mediator for either party, which may cause a delay in the process.
  • The mediator must remain neutral at all times. If neutrality is compromised in any way, the mediator must withdraw from the process. Similarly, spouses have the option to step away from the process, which may also result in delays.
  • Non-attorneys can serve as divorce mediators. However, using a non-attorney mediator often increases overall costs, as spouses may need to hire separate lawyers to finalize the process.  
  • Divorce mediation conducted by non-attorneys can be time-consuming because judges may reject the agreements, leading to delays and increased potential for court appearances.
  • Further, non-attorney mediators lack the necessary legal training to interpret Connecticut Family Court decisions, relevant case law and state statutes, which are essential for providing accurate legal and financial guidance when navigating divorce or legal separation.
  • Mediation may be unsuccessful in cases involving financial, emotional, or physical abuse.
  • Our firm does not handle any mediation cases that involve physical abuse or violence. Mediation cannot proceed effectively when any restraining order is in place. 

   2. Collaborative Divorce. Another cost-effective option for an out-of-court divorce or legal separation in Connecticut. 

Benefits of the Collaborative Divorce process in Connecticut are:

  • Similar to the divorce mediation process, collaborative divorce allows spouses to remain fully in control of the entire divorce and legal separation process.
  • The collaborative divorce process allows spouses to customize their joint agreements and lead the whole collaborative process by establishing the timeline, outcome, costs, and decisions. 
  • In the collaborative process, each spouse has their own attorney who advocates for their best interests throughout the whole process.  
  • Spouses create a strong team to help navigate and guide them through the divorce process. A collaborative divorce team includes a trained divorce attorney, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) who is a financial expert in divorce assets, and a neutral, mental health professional or child specialist to manage emotions through the process or help to create a parenting plan.  
  • Each team member is specifically trained to handle the collaborative process.
  • The child specialist can help to create a parenting plan which is important for child specific concerns and always looks out for the best interest of the child.
  • When spouses choose to participate in collaborative divorce, there are no trips to the court. 
  • Collaborative covers the entire legal process, from the initial filing to completion and the division of assets, without stepping into court.  
  • Similar to divorce mediation, spouses have a vested interest in the collaborative process and are more likely to stay engaged in the process rather than resort to litigation.
  • All negotiations are conducted privately in the collaborative attorney’s offices.
  • Ample time is provided for spouses to reach mutual, practical, and workable agreements.

Detriments of the Collaborative Divorce process in Connecticut are:

  • Collaborative divorce can be more expensive than divorce mediation because it involves multiple trained professionals. 
  • The process of a collaborative divorce may take longer than divorce mediation due to the involvement of multiple professionals. However, their expertise is integral to guiding spouses through complex decisions and ensuring thoughtful agreements. 
  • Further, the collaborative process can be time consuming, as it involves multiple professionals who must coordinate their schedules to hold meetings and reach mutually agreeable decisions.
  • Since there are multiple trained professionals involved in the process, it may become costly to the spouses if the process fails.

Angela I. Salvari Green is a divorce and family mediator, Connecticut Collaborative Divorce Attorney, and Founder of CT Mediation Center with offices throughout the state of Connecticut. The CT Mediation Center was established in 2005, at a time when Mediation was not yet well-established. CT Mediation Center primarily services families seeking a private, out-of-court process devoid of litigation. To learn more or schedule your free consultation, contact the Center at (860) 986-1141.  Atty. Salvari Green can be reached at info@ctmediationcenter.com.

Out of Court Divorce FAQ’s

In mediation, you and your spouse work with a neutral third party to resolve your divorce. This is typically the least expensive and fastest option to get divorced in Connecticut. All meetings include three people: you, your spouse, and the mediators. The mediator does not represent either spouse and helps to facilitate agreements on all divorce-related issues.

In a collaborative divorce, both spouses commit to resolving their case outside of court while each being represented by their own attorney. The spouses build a team of professionals that will support their case, such as a mental health professional, a certified divorce financial analyst, or a child advocate. A benefit of the collaborative approach is having your own legal counsel while maintaining a non-adversarial environment. Meetings typically involve a minimum of four or five people: both spouses, their respective attorneys, and most times, the collaborative mediator. 

In a traditional negotiation, each spouse hires their own attorney, and the attorneys negotiate on the client’s behalf. This approach is more adversarial, with the attorney acting as your advocate. Meetings usually include four people: you, your spouse and both attorneys.

In a divorce mediation that is resolved outside of court, it is often not necessary to appear before a Connecticut Judge. While all legal documents, including the financial affidavits and separation agreement, are submitted to the court and filed on the docket, a judge can review and approve the agreement without a court appearance. Once signed by the judge, the agreement becomes a legal court order. 

In Connecticut, if you and your spouse reach a full agreement on all issues and wish to avoid going to court, your attorneys will submit two additional documents along with the separation agreement, including the Request for Approval Without Court Appearance and an Affidavit in Support of Entry of Judgment. Both must sign and swear that the agreement is fair, that they understand the terms and that no one has forced you to sign. 

However, a judge may still require a court appearance if the judge believes the agreement is unfair and inequitable, has specific questions regarding the parenting plan, or has other concerns related to financial matters.

Once a divorce begins in the State of Connecticut, Automatic Orders immediately go into effect. These orders prohibit both spouses from straying from the status quo. Neither spouse may hide, conceal, transfer, or sell assets while the case is pending.  

In Connecticut, even in an uncontested divorce, each spouse has the right to request Mandatory Disclosure and Production of financial documents from the other. Both spouses must agree on the time frame for gathering and exchanging these documents and are required to fully comply with the exchange. In addition, every person going through a divorce in Connecticut is required to file a Financial Affidavit, which is signed under oath and under penalty of perjury.

As an added layer of protection, parties may include a warranty of disclosure clause in the separation agreement, confirming that all assets, income, and liabilities have been fully and honestly disclosed.

Mediation is the most cost-effective divorce option in Connecticut. For divorce mediation in Connecticut the average total costs range from $5,000 to $15,000 depending upon the level of complexity and conflict. This usually breaks down to approximately 2,500 to $7,500 per person. 

By comparison, a collaborative divorce generally costs between $15,000 and $60,000, or approximately $7,000 to $30,000 per person, depending on the size of the professional team and the issues involved.

In Divorce Mediation, there is one neutral mediator whose hourly rate ranges from $300 to $600. The mediator does not represent either spouse, and each spouse may choose to retain separate review counsel, but those attorneys are not part of the mediation process itself. 

In a Collaborative Divorce, both spouses hire their own collaborative-trained attorneys, with hourly rates ranging from $350 to $600. Each attorney represents and advises their respective client through the process. In addition, the spouses build a team of professionals that includes two attorneys, a mediator, a certified divorce financial analyst, a mental health professional, and sometimes a parenting professional.

If an impasse is reached during the collaborative process, the collaborative team has built-in professionals who may be able to handle the situation. For example, if the impasse involves alimony, the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst can run “what if” scenarios to show how different alimony structure affects each party’s tax liabilities or long-term retirement savings. If the impasse is driven by heightened emotions, a mental health professional can help parties move forward.

If the parties are unable to reach an agreement after these interventions, collaborative groups bring in a neutral mediator specifically to address these issues, keeping the matter within the collaborative framework while bringing in a fresh set of eyes. 

However, if the parties truly cannot move forward, the collaborative process is terminated. At that point, both collaborative attorneys are legally barred from representing the parties in court and must withdraw from the case entirely. Each spouse would then need to hire new litigation attorneys. While some financial information can be transferred, most collaborative work products are confidential and cannot be used in subsequent litigation.

A mediator-client discussion or agreement during the mediation process is strictly confidential. Communications between the mediator and client during mediation are generally inadmissible. A mediator cannot be subpoenaed to testify about substantive information shared during the mediation process, and the mediator’s notes cannot be used as evidence.  

An exception to this confidentiality rule is information that would otherwise be legally discoverable. If a spouse attempts to withhold documents from the other party that are required for a mandatory request for production, the withholding spouse cannot claim an exception to the confidentiality rule and may not withhold those documents. However, the discussion between the mediator and clients regarding the statements remains private and confidential.

It is possible to finalize a divorce faster using out of court methods such as Divorce Mediation or Collaborative Divorce. The timeline depends on which path you choose. 

The estimated timeline for a Divorce Mediation is anywhere from 3-6 months. Both spouses control the pace and can speed the process up or take as much time as needed. The court involvement for Divorce Mediation is low, typically there is one final hearing once all final documents are submitted if the Judge has questions, or most times, both spouses do not need to go to the court at all. 

The estimated timeline for a Collaborative Divorce is anywhere from 4-9 months. Both spouses again set the pace. Collaborative Divorce may take slightly longer than a Divorce Mediation because of the involvement of multiple professionals, including the parties, and the need to coordinate everyone’s schedules. The court involvement for a Collaborative Divorce is also low, as everything is handled in private meetings. 

Traditional litigation can take anywhere from 6 to 18 months. 

It is important to note that both spouses always have the option to go to court on their own and file for divorce. This can be the quickest and most cost effective option.

In Connecticut, you are not legally required to hire a review attorney, but you may choose to do so. The neutral mediator will draft the separation agreement, but they cannot provide legal advice to either party. The mediator’s role is to record what you and your spouse have agreed upon and ensure that it meets the court’s requirements.

The mediator’s goal is to guide both parties to the end of the process by helping them find common ground. A review attorney will specifically look at the document through the lens of your best interests, identifying legal or practical issues before the agreement is finalized.

In traditional mediation, both spouses work with a single neutral mediator and may share other neutral experts. In collaborative mediation, each spouse will each have their own attorney and will jointly select and share a financial professional and mental health professional during the process. 

 

A withdrawal agreement is a binding agreement signed by both you and your spouse at the beginning of the collaborative process. By signing this agreement, you are committing to work with your attorneys toward reaching a settlement agreement. The agreement states that if the collaborative process breaks down and either party decides to go to court, both collaborative attorneys are disqualified from litigating the case.