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A divorce can be a very challenging process. If you and your partner wish to fight it out via litigation, the damage done by this long process can be devastating financially and emotionally for everyone involved. Fortunately, if you want to serve your mutual interests, you still have a viable alternative to resolve conflicts often involved in a divorce. A Connecticut divorce mediation attorney can help!
Mediation might not be the best solution for all divorce cases, but it’s often recommended when couples wish to keep the issues surrounding their divorce private. In certain states, the judge might rule that you and your ex must go through mediation before resorting to litigation.
Mediation is an effective way to resolve conflicts. Its presided over by a neutral family law expert who helps create ideal conditions to facilitate the effective presentation of issues and finding their solutions. A Connecticut divorce mediation attorney offers to separate couples numerous advantages compared to litigation. Besides a smoother flow of conflict resolution, let us look at the top merits of mediation over traditional divorce litigation.
Once a couple has decided to end a marriage or long-term relationship, choosing the path or process for finalizing the divorce is more impactful and consequential than the decision to end it. Television, movies, and Hollywood portray divorce as a high-stakes courtroom battle; today’s reality of divorce and family law has shifted to an amicable, cost-efficient, constructive process called divorce mediation.
While mediation was unheard of in divorce and family law a few years ago, today it is the primary recommendation and modality for couples seeking divorce in Connecticut. Naturally, this process is not suitable for all couples. However, couples seeking to save money, preserve their future co-parenting relationship for the benefit of the children, and seeking privacy, divorce mediation is a far better alternative.
In addition to privacy and time efficiency, the most important benefit of divorce mediation for couples seeking a divorce in Connecticut is the preservation of their marital assets and savings. In traditional divorce litigation, both spouses hire different lawyers, often paying retainer agreements of anywhere between $5,000 to $15,000 per attorney just to get started with their case. This is the entry fee in litigation and covers only the first 10-15 hours of an attorney’s time for each spouse. As the case progresses in the court system—through court appearances, hearings, emails, and other functions—the divorce litigation fees spiral out of control. Litigation costs in Connecticut range from $15,000 to $150,000 per person, or more, depending on the complexity and level of conflict between the two spouses and, most importantly, the hourly rates of each individual attorney.
Basically, the family is paying for:
1. Two separate divorce attorneys to communicate with one another
2. Two sets of paralegals
3. Two separate expert witnesses or evaluation reports.
By contrast, if the family chooses mediation, the couple keeps their money in their own pockets. With the guidance of a mediator—especially one who is an experienced divorce and family law attorney in Connecticut—the couple shares the costs.
Similarly, outside of mediation sessions, the family is guided, and is often strongly recommended, to have private discussions regarding the division of the marital estate in a way that makes sense to them.
The many advantages of mediation make it a viable option for all couples who wish to serve their mutual interests after a divorce. If you have any concerns or queries related to the divorce mediation process, feel free to contact our CT Mediation Center team! Our professionals have years of experience helping couples through a divorce and can tell you all about the process in no time. Call us to speak with our attorneys at the earliest.
Thank you for your interest in our Divorce Guide in Connecticut.
This guide was created in direct collaboration with our clients! Some of our clients come to us after starting litigation and hiring separate attorneys. Some clients come to us after attempting to file for divorce on their own. Most families we help start and finish the process by utilizing our services and staying out of the Court system.
“Did not spend a fortune, really knowledgeable, kind thorough and very professional and did not need more lawyers. Really one stop shop and best outcome given our circumstances. Any one of the mediators you choose are great. They are all divorce attorneys who do not litigate.”
Attorney Shoff was beyond great and she guided us every step of the way. She helped with every part of the process from start to finish and we could feel she genuinely cared about us. I highly highly recommend her to anyone in need of this service.”
“I am most grateful for finding Atty. Green and her staff at CT Mediation Center. This place knows everything divorce, children and the legal process for navigating such a difficult time... Nice, kind, knowledgeable, professional and absolutely neutral. Thank you for all you did for our family.”
“Did not spend a fortune, really knowledgeable, kind thorough and very professional and did not need more lawyers. Really one stop shop and best outcome given our circumstances. Any one of the mediators you choose are great. They are all divorce attorneys who do not litigate.”
Attorney Shoff was beyond great and she guided us every step of the way. She helped with every part of the process from start to finish and we could feel she genuinely cared about us. I highly highly recommend her to anyone in need of this service.”
“I am most grateful for finding Atty. Green and her staff at CT Mediation Center. This place knows everything divorce, children and the legal process for navigating such a difficult time... Nice, kind, knowledgeable, professional and absolutely neutral. Thank you for all you did for our family.”
CT Mediation Center is committed to:
This installment brings together collective bits of wisdom and caution informing best options and choices that may arise before the divorce process gets really rolling. The early issues raised reflect practical common-sense problems...
A litigated divorce is the only way to dissolve a marriage for some people. A judge decides the elements of the divorce and brings the curtains down. However, couples with children should always try and avoid this option.
A premarital agreement is an essential aspect of modern marriages. It can help avert marital issues that may jeopardize your financial matters or interests. This blog post breaks down the importance of a premarital agreement and why you should create one.
In situations where the couple is unable to communicate outside of mediation, the job of the mediator is to:
1. Break down negotiations between the two spouses
2. Enable them to communicate effectively
3. Mediate the conflict to reach agreements that both spouses can live with.
4. Create various financial options
5. Detailed explanation of all these options to the family
6. Educate the family on the pros and cons of all available options. The same options available to litigation clients are available to mediation clients, minus the exorbitant costs of litigation.
7. Prepare all the legal documents for the Courts, including the final agreements.
8. No court appearances. Meaning the entire divorce is handled entirely outside the Court.
By choosing the mediation option, the family has the opportunity to create their own financial plans for themselves and for their children, rather than having lawyers litigate their financial assets outside of the parties’ control. In this situation, there is no need to wait for court deadlines or pay two attorneys, and offer the trial courts the opportunity to make decisions on behalf of the family. Instead, the family is empowered to reach their own agreements.
Litigation lawyers are busy with Court appearances. The court system in Connecticut is a very slow-moving enterprise. Due to backlogs and administrative delays, litigation divorces (or any divorce that starts with litigation attorneys) take one to two years to complete.
Divorce mediation operates on your timelines, not anyone else’s calendar. Because the spouses are not waiting for the litigation attorney’s availability or court deadlines, the process is significantly faster.
The entire divorce mediation process can be finalized in 2 months. Some families choose to take a little bit longer for various reasons, such as selling the house or waiting for kids to graduate from high school or college. In divorce mediation, families in Connecticut can meet weekly or every other week, depending on their next available dates. Many mediators at Connecticut Mediation Center offer evening or Saturday appointments to accommodate families who work during the week.
In divorce mediation, families decide their own timelines together at the beginning of the process. They can communicate their wishes regarding how long or short the entire process will be. Mediation families can also decide who provides the information needed for subsequent sessions to be effective. The divorce mediator at Connecticut Mediation Center does not schedule a next appointment unless all pending items are provided by both spouses.
Once the family provides all the necessary information, the follow-up appointment is scheduled, thereby keeping those sessions very cost-efficient because the information-gathering process has been completed in advance. The bottom line is that the family comes prepared to create a plan.
One of the most important benefits of divorce mediation is the fact that the mediator guides the family towards a self-guided resolution process. The family is in the best position to make the financial decisions for that family unit. The mediator’s job is to help the family come up with their own financial agreements and be the problem solvers for the specific circumstances that brought them to this place. The most important benefit of mediation is to foster an environment of problem-solving. It also fosters an opportunity for the spouses to remain amicable and friendly after the divorce, especially if children are involved.
In contrast, litigation is inherently adversarial. In litigation, people think in terms of winners and losers. Even though the reality of divorce litigation is that there is no such thing as a winner or a loser—ask any judge in the state of Connecticut if there are winners and losers in a divorce—the answer is absolutely no. It’s all lose-lose.
By contrast, divorce mediation in a CT Divorce can be peaceful and manageable. Difficult, yes, however, far, far less stressful than a litigated divorce in the Connecticut Courts. Mediation focuses on problem-solving rather than blame and fault. The goal is to find an outcome that both can live with.
Research consistently demonstrates that conflict harms children, not the divorce itself. While divorce litigation is the worst conflict in a family system, families who choose to mediate and resolve their private issues confidentially, out of court, and amicably are parents who know to prioritize their children’s best interests above all else.
There is no such thing as privacy in a litigated divorce in the Connecticut court system. Anyone can walk into your hearings or trials and hear your cross-examination and discussions. Furthermore, people can obtain records and transcripts of all the communications of a litigated divorce from the CT Courts. One of the most important reasons for selecting the divorce mediation process in Connecticut is privacy and confidentiality. The mediation process is strictly confidential, keeping your family’s private business behind closed doors and out of reach of anyone else.
Not every family is a good fit for divorce mediation in Connecticut. At Connecticut Mediation Center, we receive numerous calls from spouses who prefer mediation; however, the other spouse is unwilling to come to the table with clean hands. Litigation remains an absolutely necessary tool for cases involving financial abuse, such as hiding assets, coercive control, child or spousal abuse, and child alienation.
However, for the vast majority of couples seeking a cost-efficient, constructive process, mediation offers a dignified exit from marriage. The divorce mediation process transforms a toxic legal battle into a managed, guided negotiation process, granting both spouses the opportunity to end their marriage with dignity and with their finances intact for the benefit of their children or themselves.
Pro-Tip for Divorce Mediation Process in Connecticut:
Create a simple financial inventory table before your mediation process begins. List everything you own in the left column and everything that you owe in the right column. This provides both you and the divorce mediator with a single place to view all assets and liabilities.
It’s More Affordable: Traditional litigation can cost each party upwards of $50,000 when factoring in attorney fees, travel, and investigators. Because mediation is significantly faster and allows couples to share the costs, the overall financial burden is much lower.
Focus on Mutual Interests: Unlike the adversarial nature of court, mediation creates a calm environment where a Connecticut mediation lawyer helps both parties find common ground. This approach prioritizes amicable settlements and minimizes emotional trauma for the family, especially children.
You Retain Control: In court, judges and attorneys often decide your future. Mediation empowers you to resolve conflicts yourselves. An expert attorney ensures both sides are heard, allowing for a personalized outcome that works for everyone.
It’s Significantly Faster: Litigation is tied to unpredictable court schedules and can drag on for years. Mediation moves at your pace, typically requiring far fewer sessions. This efficiency allows you and your family to move forward and rebuild your lives sooner.
Read more Click here“I have been treated very kindly by the attorneys and mediators working for this business. They are very knowledgeable and professional, and I would recommend them to anyone looking to have a peaceful and efficient divorce.”
In Connecticut, mediation itself is not legally binding. A mediated agreement becomes an enforceable, binding court order only after the agreement is finalized and approved by the Judge. Once approved by the Judge, your case goes to “Judgment” and becomes a legally binding court order.
From your mediation session until your case goes to Judgment,
Can spouses back out at this stage? Yes
Legal Status: Voluntary; nothing is final or enforceable.
Can spouses back out? Yes
Legal Status: Still not enforceable in court.
Can spouses back out? It depends.
Legal Status: Binding as a contract, pending court approval
Can spouses back out? No.
Legal Status: Legally binding court order that requires a motion to the court to modify the agreement.
In Connecticut, divorce mediation is significantly less expensive than divorce litigation. On average, a mediated divorce can cost $ 3,500-$7,500, total for both spouses. It depends on the level of conflict and if there are children and/or complex financial situations. As with every legal matter, each case is unique, so costs vary.
By contrast, divorce litigation is substantially more expensive. Attorneys require $7,500-$10,000+ upfront JUST for the retainer, which does not even include the cost of trial. Litigation often involves extensive motions, court appearances, and prolonged disputes, all of which increase billable hours and overall expense.
Since mediation is focused on cooperation, problem-solving, and collaboration rather than “winning,” it significantly reduces the time involved and the costs.
In Connecticut, you are not legally required to have your own attorney if you choose mediation. However, having review counsel is highly recommended for reviewing draft agreements or providing personalized and individual legal advice. In mediation, as your, the attorney-mediator must remain neutral at all times and cannot give independent legal advice.
You may choose to hire “Review Counsel,” a private attorney for you individually, that only represents only you. Review Counsel can tell you if the deal is fair, may coach you throughout the negotiation process, and may review the draft agreement to ensure your interests in the divorce are being protected.
When might you want your own attorney in mediation?
Using mediation with review counsel is a less expensive alternative to litigation. Instead of a retainer between you and your review counsel, you will be charged at the lawyer’s hourly rate for the time they spend reviewing the documents.
Divorce mediation in Connecticut can take anywhere from 3 to 6 months, from the initial session to the Judgment of Dissolution. This is faster than divorce litigation, which generally takes at least one year and is often longer.
Divorce mediation is led by you and your spouse. You both choose your own timelines and guide the process for how long or how short you want the process to be. It definitely helps in making decisions and communicating amicably in between sessions, often leading to more productive mediation sessions, and is more cost-effective, with lower overall costs.
There are some factors that can speed up or slow down the process.
Yes, your mediator is there to help you both through the process and to navigate through impasse. The mediator can facilitate communication, help manage conflict, and keep discussions productive. However, the Mediator does not make decisions for you.
Instead, the mediator looks at your case from a high level, neutral perspective and presents options and alternatives that you and your spouse may be unable to see in the moment.
Mediation requires a basic level of cooperation. If you are unable to communicate at all with your spouse or if your spouse refuses to participate, the process can be extremely difficult and may not be a viable route for a mediated divorce.
In Connecticut, assets and debts are divided according to equitable distribution, meaning marital assets and debts are divided in a manner that is fair and not necessarily equal. Connecticut is considered an “all property” state, meaning all property whether the asset was owned before marriage is subject to division.
The advantage to a mediated divorce offers flexibility to the divorcing spouses. The spouses have freedom to be creative and decide how they want to divide the marital estate, as long as it is equitable.
However, the Judge must still review this agreement to ensure it is equitable before it becomes a court order. Some factors the Judge considers when reading the agreements and making the agreement a court order include length of marriage, contribution, future earning capacity, and health and age of the parties.
In divorce mediation, the child custody and parenting schedule will be developed into a parenting plan. Mediation allows you to build a custom plan and schedule that fits your families’ specific needs, work hours, school districts, traditions, etc. The process is centered around the best interest of the child, which is the legal standard that a Connecticut Judge uses to approve a Parenting Plan and court agreement.
Your mediator will distinguish between two legal concepts surrounding custody:
Common Schedules that we see here in CT include:
What to include in the parenting plan:
Yes, divorce mediation in Connecticut is strictly confidential. The mediators create a safe zone to solve problems and work through issues privately.
Connecticut adopted the Uniform Mediation Act (UMA), where almost everything said and written during mediation is considered privileged. Privileged information is inadmissible in court, and a Mediator cannot testify to what happened during session. Confidentiality encourages honest communication, creative problem solving and negotiation.
It is very common for couples to agree to divorce terms and hit a wall when it comes to specific issues such as alimony, business valuations, or complex financial matters. If you and your spouse reach an impasse during session, that does not automatically restart your divorce or abandon the progress you’ve already made.
There are some options available to help you and your spouse work through impasse while preserving the agreements reached so far.
Some options include:
Yes, in Connecticut, a divorce mediator will draft and file your legal paperwork only if they are a licensed attorney.
The attorney mediator will prepare the summons and complaint and other initial paperwork to start your case in court. During the mediation, you and your Attorney mediator will draft and prepare a financial affidavit and ultimately work towards negotiating your Separation Agreement.
Here are some legal documents that will be prepared during your mediation, which will be filed with the court:
Non-Attorney mediators CANNOT and are legally prohibited from filing court documents on your behalf. 99% of the time, you may have a full written agreement and have your divorce go to Judgment without setting foot in the courtroom.
