A litigated divorce is the only way to dissolve a marriage for some people. A judge decides the elements of the divorce and brings the curtains down. However, couples with children should always try and avoid this option.
Your children will need an ongoing relationship between both of you. Litigated divorce requires the divorcing couple to have litigation counsel, forcing the two of you to become adversaries. That leads to rehashing past behaviors instead of focusing on your roles as parents.
Most divorce coaches advocate for a negotiated agreement, as it spares your children from the hardship that affects most kids when their parents are parting ways. The CT Divorce Mediation Center help families protect their kids from the trauma of a divorce while sparing them many expenses and time.
We use collaborative law to promote a healthier family transition. Our collaborative divorce mediation process resolves disputes quickly and helps to reshape your family bonds.
How Divorce Affects Your Children
When parents are splitting up, the effects of a divorce can vary. Some children go through the divorce process in an understanding way, while others struggle to transition. How your children are affected by the divorce process might vary depending on every child’s age and temperament.
With that in mind, here are common effects of divorce on children that a collaborative process can help you avoid.
Divorce is often emotional and confusing to the divorcing spouses, and children are no different. This transition brings feelings of anger, loss, anxiety, confusion, and others. The process can leave your children feeling emotionally sensitive and overwhelmed.
Every child specialist will tell you that children need someone they can talk to and listen to them, and they can emotionally feel the effects of a divorce. That might present itself as social withdrawal and other behavioral changes.
Difficulty Adapting To Change
A divorce forces children to adapt to change frequently. It means a new house, new family dynamics, living situations, friends, schools, and more, which can all affect the kids.
Increase in Health Problems
The divorce process can be stressful for your children. Dealing with the stress can take a toll on your child’s body, causing physical problems. Research shows that children that have gone through a divorce are highly susceptible to sickness because of several factors, including difficulty sleeping.
Feelings of Guilt
Kids often wonder why their adorable parents have to divorce. They may try to figure out what’s wrong. In such situations, they may wonder whether their parents are fallen out of love or whether they’re to blame for the breakup.
Guilt increases pressure and can lead to stress, depression, and other health complications. By providing counseling and context, your children can understand their roles in a divorce and mitigate these feelings of guilt.
How a Collaborative Divorce Process Works
In a collaborative divorce process, trained collaborative law attorneys represent each spouse without going to court. The clients and their attorneys are part of a larger collaborative team that drafts the divorce agreement drafted over several privately held sessions. The unit can include financial planners, divorce coaches, and child specialists.
The collaborative teams work with both parents to get through the divorce terms, including asset and property division, child support, child custody, etc. This voluntary and free exchange helps the parties and their attorneys develop a divorce agreement. Your attorney will help finalize the legal document to be signed privately without the stressful court proceedings.
Benefits of Collaborative Divorce Benefits Your Children
A divorce through collaborative family law is time conscious and cost-effective. It’s also beneficial to your children in various ways, including:
1. Presents a united front
Your children will need to adjust after you finalize your divorce. However, they shouldn’t have to worry about missing any of you in their lives.
A collaborative process helps parents present a united front. That demonstrates your desire to maintain a strong family despite the marriage breakdown.
2. Minimizes psychological trauma to the kids
Divorce isn’t an easy process for children. When either party initiates litigation, the conflicting result might affect your children psychologically. Your child might develop anger, anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress due to the court battle.
Collaborative divorce helps to minimize the psychological trauma that your child might face. It also gives you the balance to smoothly help your children face this sour moment.
3. Saves financial resources
Collaborative divorce is always cost-effective compared to protracted litigation. You can also get help from child and financial specialists to know how to enrich your kids’ lives. If the children have special needs, they might need extra funds devoted to their welfare.
4. Minimal post-divorce conflict
Collaborative law allows spouses to determine the terms of the divorce with the help of their attorneys. That includes visitation rights, custody, financial support, separation of property, and others.
The negotiation process used by collaborative divorce attorneys creates a win-win situation as no spouse feels left out. This divorce mediation process helps eliminate a lot of future conflicts and addresses the need of every family member.
5. Better family relations
While divorcing parties might feel the need for litigation, the process complicates your child’s relationship with other family members. Collaborative divorce helps your children maintain the bond they have with other family members without a feeling of resentment.
Will Collaborative Divorce Work for Us?
Whether collaborative law divorce is the right option for you depends on your spouse, ability to work together, and willingness to negotiate. If you’ve got a history of domestic violence in your marriage, a collaborative model won’t be effective for you. You’ll have to go through a contested divorce, where the judge focuses on what your state law entitles every spouse.
When the divorcing parties and the attorneys are willing to put aside, a collaborative law process will save you time and money. It’s unlikely that both of you will eventually walk away with everything you want; a team approach helps couples retain the power to decide how their divorce goes through an honest exchange.
A collaborative divorce team also offers professional advice on keeping your child financially and emotionally secure even after the separation.
Looking for a collaborative divorce attorney in Shelton, CT? We’ve got your back!
CT Divorce Mediation Center in Sheldon, Connecticut, is a reliable divorce arbitration service that will help you explore the path to a less-stressful divorce. Call 860-986-1141 for a free consultation and go through your divorce with dignity and grace!