How to Have a Private Divorce

Your wedding is a matter of public record. So is a divorce. 

Chances are, you celebrated your marriage gleefully, with much joy. 

Most couples don’t celebrate the end of their relationship by choosing tableware. There is no divorce registry, no one throws rice as you drive away from the courthouse, divorce decree in hand. 

Her choice of words sparked media frenzy, but in the end, Gwyneth Paltrow got it right.

While the media made much about her calling it a “conscious uncoupling,” the thrust of Paltrow’s divorce from Coldplay crooner Chris Martin was about keeping things cool, calm, and collected. Yes, they got divorced. And they did it without playing the blame-shame game. They remained focused on their children, and the steps they could take to co-parent in a positive, healthy manner. 

If you’d like to pull a page from their songbook, ask the legal team at CT Mediation Center about divorce mediation or a collaborative divorce. It’s a process that might work well for you, especially if you have children.

No one enters into a marriage expecting it to fail. 

For the longest time, it was believed that more than half of all marriages ended in divorce. While current studies show that number is inaccurate, divorce is still a bitter reality for thousands of families every year. Separation and divorce are emotionally difficult events, but you can have a healthy breakup when you consider today’s alternatives.

One way to have a private divorce is to consider divorce mediation or a collaborative divorce. Both approaches offer a level of privacy by skipping the nerve-rattling court battle. All the hard work is done behind closed doors. Couples are encouraged focus on a healthy, fast resolution, not a drawn-out tale of who did what to whom. Such privacy is golden when it comes to easing the emotional fallout of a divorce.

Keep your divorce or separation private! Here’s how. 

Once upon a time, a divorce filing could be sealed. The laws have changed since then and such information is now a matter of public record. That’s akin to having your deepest secrets shared on social media: Anyone can look, and anyone can share. It’s not pleasant, and it’s certainly not private.

Prying eyes can see private details, including: financial information (property ownership, personal income, assets and debts) as well as the final settlement agreement. Family issues, such as caring for special needs children, or addressing mental health and addiction issues, can also be viewed by the curious. 

In the realm of business, competitors or a future employer might discover details that can negatively your business success or job search. 

Worst case scenario, parenting evaluations, including psychological evaluations, and, most hurtful, the unproven allegations one parent is making against the other, can also become a matter of public record. When you consider the impact that information can have on your life post-divorce, the need for a private settlement becomes critical. 

If you want a tightly controlled proceeding, one where the judge does not get involved, one where your private issues are addressed behind closed doors (and remain private!) your best option is to pursue divorce mediation or a collaborative divorce. 

Additional benefits of divorce mediation or a collaborative divorce: 

  • Either option tends to cost less in terms of legal representation and legal fees. 
  • Divorce mediation, or a collaborative divorce, tends to be faster and easier to complete. 
  • Research shows that mediation can be beneficial for emotional satisfaction, ongoing relationships between the divorced parties, and children’s needs.
  • If you have children, divorce mediation or a collaborative divorce makes the transition period easier. 

In the end, divorce mediation or a collaborative divorce is the most private approach you can take to end your marriage. The legal team at CT Mediation Center can help you decide which approach is best for you. Please contact us for a consultation.